On The Eve Of It

Featured

Embrace The Week Ahead With The Best Sunday Night Routine

They who are best prepared can best serve thier moment of inspiration — Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Sunday night—its well worth taking 30 mins to prepare so you can to sail into the week ahead. Create a Sunday night routine that leaves you feeling centred and ready for whatever Monday throws your way.

Your Home:
- Clutter can clutter your mind. Take a few minutes to tidy up your living space. Ensure essential household chores (like the washing up) are done. A clutter-free environment can make you feel more in control and more organized, setting you up for success in the week to come.
Your food:
- Meal prep is like a secret weapon. When you know what you’ll eat for the week, your mind relaxes. No irritated “What’s for lunch?” panic or absent-minded cupboard grazing. Instead, you’ve got a plan, its healthy and it will make you happy. It’s like giving your future self a high-five.
- And get those healthy snacks lined up too!
Your clothes:
- Plan your clothes, give yourself one less thing to think about and a pre-planned boost. Choose outfits that empower you. Maybe that crisp white shirt boosts your confidence, or those comfy joggers say, “I’m ready for productivity.”
- Weather check: Is it a sunny week? Rainy? Dress accordingly. Don’t let your clothes be a discomfort.
Your Workspace:
- Clear your desk like a Zen master. Wipe away dust, arrange pens, and align your laptop. A serene workspace invites calm focus.
- Make your space ready and your own. Get a candle ready. Settle into your chair. Imagine it’s a throne, and you’re the ruler of spreadsheets and emails. Breathe. You’re ready.
Your plan:
- Review your calendar. Prioritize tasks. Visualize your Monday and plan your breaks. And set a little time aside in the day for that unexpected, unavoidable task or meeting that will inevitably come. Chose the 2-4 things that WILL get done to call tomorrow a success, anything else…is a bonus. Set up your week with day one.
- Set intentions or express your gratitude. Write these down somewhere you’ll see them each day this week. ‘I will maintain calm motivation throughout the week’ or ‘I am grateful for the freedom to prioritise my work’ or simply ‘I’m grateful for my salary.’
- Remember, Monday is the beginning of the rest of the week – set the tone and take control.

Remember, those 30 minutes on Sunday evening aren’t just about ticking off tasks; they’re about nurturing your well-being, looking after yourself and getting a head of the week. You will thank yourself for the rest of the week.

Intelligent Change A5 Productivity Sheets Taskpad great tool for setting and keeping to goals for that excelent feeling of daily achivment!

Featured

The Unfinished Story: Entering Middle Age

Closing off the 4th decade…

As the sun sets on my fourth decade, I find myself standing at the crossroads of middle age. The path behind me is scattered with memories, both sweet and bitter, while the one ahead remains feels very unknown. It’s a peculiar place to be—a time feeling the weight of unmet expectations.

The Illusion of Arrival

In my twenties, I believed that by forty, I would have it all figured out. Maybe I’d have a successful career, perhaps a loving partner, perhaps a couple of kids, and a house with a white picket fence, and definitely a sense of feeling settled in myself. But life, as it often does, had other plans. The career took unexpected turns, relationships bloomed and withered, and I find myself still…floating.

The Ghosts of Dreams Deferred

Middle age is when the ghosts of dreams deferred come knocking. They whisper in the quiet moments—the novel I never wrote, the travels I postponed, risks I never took. They remind me that time is finite, and the story of my life remains incomplete. And there is an ache of unfulfilled potential.

The Weight of Comparison

I too easliy lean into the feeling of inadequacy. Scrolling through curated feeds, sitting at dinners and around meeting tables, I see people celebrating their promotions, exotic vacations, and picture-perfect families. Meanwhile, I wonder if I missed the memo on adulting. Why haven’t I climbed that corporate ladder? Why haven’t I backpacked across Europe? Why haven’t I found my soulmate?

The Battle with Biology

Ah, the physical changes—the gently greying hair, the fine lines etching themselves around my eyes, the metabolism that seems to have gone on vacation. My body, once resilient, now creaks and protests. I stand in front of the mirror, tracing the map of time on my skin, wondering if I’ve aged gracefully or merely surrendered to it.

The Wisdom of Imperfection

Yet, amidst the struggle, there’s a quiet wisdom that emerges. I’ve learned that perfection is an illusion. Life isn’t a checklist; it’s a messy, unpredictable journey. The unfinished canvas or an expectation not met isn’t a failure; it’s an invitation to keep creating. Maybe I haven’t scaled Everest, but I’ve climbed my own peaks—the laughter shared with friends, the tears shed in solitude, the moments when my heart swelled with love.

The Liberation of Letting Go

Maybe middle age grants the gift of letting go. Release the need for external validation, embrace my quirks—the way I snort when I laugh, the silly socks I wear, the half-finished novels stacked on my bedside table. I realize that “making it” isn’t about societal checkboxes; it’s about finding joy in the everyday.

The Unfinished Symphony

So, here I am— on the eve of the next stage. The peaks and troughs of experience, resilience, and vulnerability shape my narrative. I may not have it all figured out, but perhaps that’s the beauty of middle age—the freedom to rewrite the script, to color outside the lines, and to live by my own imperfect rhythm.

And as the sun rises on my fifth decade, lets see what in store for me, let’s see what path I forge next. I wish myself, luck and love and kindness.

Featured

Pensions…eyes wide open! Part One – State Pension

I know that when I retire I will get a government pension, I also have a work place pension, I had a vague meeting with a pension advisor who was sent to my work and he walked me though some forms, asked me questions I didn’t really know the answers to and gave me some advice that I didn’t understand. I don’t think it was his fault that I didn’t leave the meeting feeling any the wiser than when I first went in, its not his job to educate me on what a pension is, how the whole ecosystem works or what might be needed or wanted later in life. But this total lack of understanding is quite dangerous, equally this total lack of understanding is quite common.

Nobody really talks about pensions, and when we speak to our parents their experience is often different to our own as their working lives and the rules governing pensions are likely to be different. Before we take advice, we need information, we need a whole picture. It can be bewildering to be part of a conversation where you are vulnerable in your lack of information.

So, I decided it was time to learn. I knew that I had two things, two things that have been attached to me or are in my basket. So that was my first step: get the name and number of, get access to these ‘things’. Once I have that, I will be able to start working out the world in which they exist and what they mean.

Kicking off with the most basic – my state pension. And this was in fact a really easy step, simply Googling ‘my state pension’ led me to the gov website and with just a few clicks, and by knowing my birthday, I now know that my state pension age is 68 (so just 30 years to go then!)

The next thing I wanted to know was how much money will I get? Do I have to do anything? In order to see how much money I will get I had to sign in to my Government Gateway account (sign up at home so you have your ID and NI number handy) and just like that – £175.20 a week (£761.81 a month, £9141.69 per year).

…..oh shit.

https://www.gov.uk/plan-for-retirement

Your Budget is your Buddy!

Next Up

The Importance of Having a Personal Budget, with Tips for Getting Started

Managing your finances can often feel overwhelming. Whether you’re saving for a big purchase, planning for retirement, planning a great escape or simply trying to make it to the end of the month without stress, having a personal budget is essential. It’s more than just a financial tool – it’s a lifestyle change that can bring you peace of mind and financial empowerment.

Why should we all have a personal budget?

Clarity and Control

Creating a personal budget allows you to see exactly where your money is coming from and where it’s going. By tracking your income and expenses, you gain clarity and can make informed decisions about your spending habits. This sense of control helps avoid the stress and uncertainty of financial surprises.

Achieving Financial Goals

Whether it’s buying a home, going on holiday, or building an emergency fund, a personal budget is a roadmap to achieving your financial goals. By setting aside specific amounts for your goals, you can steadily work towards them without feeling overwhelmed. A budget helps you turn aspirations into achievable milestones.

Preventing Overspending

It’s easy to lose track of your spending, especially with the convenience of credit cards and online shopping. A personal budget sets clear spending limits for different categories, ensuring that you don’t overspend and end up in debt. By keeping your spending in check, you can maintain a healthy financial balance.

Building Savings

One of the most important aspects of a personal budget is the ability to build savings. By allocating a portion of your income to savings each month, you create a financial cushion for emergencies, future investments, or retirement. Consistent savings contribute to long-term financial stability and security. Even the tiniest amount put aside each month or each week slowly builds up the pot and your saving muscles!

Reducing Stress

Financial stress and uncertainty can take a toll on your mental and emotional well-being. By having a personal budget, you alleviate the anxiety of living pay check to pay check and the fear of checking your account. Knowing exactly how much you can spend and save each month brings peace of mind and reduces the worry associated with financial uncertainty. Get your head out of the sand – there is a way forward. I promise!

Better Financial Decisions

A budget empowers you to make better financial decisions. With a clear understanding of your financial situation, you can prioritize necessary expenses and avoid unnecessary ones. This informed decision-making extends to big purchases, investments, and lifestyle choices, ensuring that your financial actions align with your overall goals.

Demolishing Debt

One of the leading causes of debt is a lack of financial planning. A personal budget helps you manage your debts by setting aside funds for repayments and avoiding additional borrowing. By staying on top of your debt, you can work towards becoming debt-free and enjoy greater financial freedom.

Building up Financial Discipline

Developing and sticking to a personal budget fosters financial discipline. It teaches you the value of money, encourages mindful spending, and promotes a habit of regular savings. Over time, this discipline becomes second nature, and even enjoyable, leading to a more financially responsible lifestyle.

Tips for Setting Your Personal Budget

Calculate Your Income: Start by listing all your sources of income, including your salary, any side hustles, benefits etc. Knowing your total income helps set the foundation for your budget.

Track Your Expenses: Keep track of every expense for a month to understand your spending habits. Categorize your expenses into essential (rent, utilities) and discretionary (entertainment, dining out) to see where your money goes.

Set Your Goals: Identify your short-term and long-term financial goals, such as saving for a holiday, paying off debt, or building an emergency fund. These goals will guide your budgeting priorities.

Make a Plan: Allocate funds to each category based on your income and spending habits. Make sure to prioritize essential expenses and savings before allocating money to discretionary spending.

Monitor and Adjust: Regularly review your budget to ensure you’re on track, at least monthly for the first 3-6 months. Adjust your spending and saving plans as needed to stay aligned with your financial goals.

Use Budgeting Tools: Find a tool that works for you; a budgeting app, an excel sheet, a nice new notebook, whatever you like but have a dedicated ‘thing’ that you enjoy working with. Tools can help you stay organized and provide insights into your financial habits and make the process more rewarding.

Starting a personal budget isn’t just about crunching numbers—it’s your ticket to financial freedom and peace of mind. It’s about knowing exactly where you stand, setting exciting goals, getting yourself where you want to be and maybe even treating yourself without the guilt. Plus, you’ll banish that pesky financial stress and start building up your financial skills and muscle. Money isn’t the key to everything, but it is power, YOUR power if you take control of it! You’ve got this!

Avoiding the curse of new years’ resolutions!

Didn’t set any goals in January? Don’t worry, you haven’t missed the boat, it could even be for the best! It’s well documented many people who set new year’s resolutions fail in the first 2 weeks, so why can setting goals in January not always be the best plan…

Post-Holiday Burnout: After the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, you might feel exhausted. It could be better to rest and recharge rather than immediately dive into new goals.

Winter Blues: The shorter days and colder weather can affect your mood and energy levels. It might be harder to define what you want to focus on and stay motivated.

Pressure and Stress: January often comes with pressure to set resolutions, which can feel overwhelming. Setting goals on your own timeline might be more enjoyable and less stressful.

Unrealistic Expectations: The “New Year, New Me” mentality can lead to setting overly ambitious goals. Starting small and building gradually can be more effective and that perspective might come more easily after taking time out to rest.

Money: The holiday season can be financially draining. You might prefer to wait until your finances are more stable before embarking on new endeavours.

Mental clutter: With so much going on at the beginning of the year, your mind might be cluttered. Waiting until things settle can provide clearer focus and direction.

Repeating the same past failures: Many people make the same resolutions every year without success. Breaking this cycle might require a different approach and timing.

Flexibility and Adaptability: Life is unpredictable, and starting goals later allows you to adapt to unforeseen changes that might occur at the start of the year.

Time to reflect: Taking time to reflect on the past year and assess what’s actually important to you can lead to more meaningful and achievable goals. January might be too soon for this reflection.

Being ready: Everyone has their own pace. If you’re not ready in January, there’s no need to force it. Setting goals when you feel genuinely prepared can lead to better outcomes.

So, all things considered, it can be a good idea to give yourself the gift of January to relax and then kick off your intentions in February instead. The key is to set goals when you feel ready and motivated, not because the calendar says it’s January. Taking your time to mindfully plan and prepare can lead to more successful and satisfying achievements.

So sit back, enjoy the rest, give yourself a break. Take January to decompress and get rested up and kick off your goal setting in calm, focussed February.

Navigating Life’s Frustrations Amidst Chaos

We can sometime find ourselves surrounded and overcome by a multitude of tiny life challenges. These inconveniences, seemingly insignificant at first glance, can accumulate and topple even the strongest of us. When we’re already grappling with major life events these everyday irritations can feel like a thousand minuscule ropes tripping us.

The Power of Tiny Aggravations

1. Underestimating the Impact: Waiting on hold, forgetting to buy loo roll, dealing with a dead car battery, crappy colleague remark—these annoyances may not seem as weighty as major life stressors, but they do take a toll. We underestimate their impact because they’re common occurrences. Yet, when multiplied amidst m=bigger challenges, can emotionally overwhelm us.

2. Daily Hassles and Emotional Health: Daily hassles, especially when they trigger negative emotions, contribute to stress and chip away at us and impact the way we deal with ourselves and those around us. It’s like a thousand paper cuts, each manageable on its own, but together they drain our emotional reserves and we can lash out, neglect ourselves and the important relationships in our lives.

Three Tips for Managing Daily Hassles

1. Put Things in Perspective: Gently remind yourself that not every inconvenience is a catastrophe. Take a deep breath and assess the situation. Don’t let it build up, don’t take it with you through the day. Will it matter a week from now? Probably not. Shift your focus away from the annoyance and onto the bigger picture.

2. Accept What You Can’t Control: Some things are beyond your influence. Instead of dwelling on them, focus on what you can change or get a little distance from. Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up; it means redirecting your energy toward productive solutions.

3. Jot Down Your Primary Triggers: Keep a journal of the daily hassles that piss you off. Identifying patterns helps you anticipate and prepare for them. Plus, writing about it can be cathartic.

Two Products to Ease the Grind

1. Noise-Cancelling Headphones: Whether it’s the neighbour’s washing machine or the office printer, unwanted noise can trigger your nerves. Invest in a good pair of noise-cancelling headphones. Pop them on when the world gets too loud, and let the soothing silence envelop you. They don’t have to cost the earth, but they can buy you some peace, I like these ones from Sony WH-CH720N

2. A calming check list in a nice notebook: Sometimes its calming and satisfying to make a note of the small things you need to get done to get back on top and get yourself some headspace. Especially if you’re struggling to get beyond the small things, checklists can be like a ladder out of a hole. I like these small flexible ones I can keep in my bag from Leuchtturm

Remember, life’s small inconveniences are like mosquitoes buzzing around your head—they’re annoying, but you can swat them away. By accepting and overcoming in small measures, you’ll soon build up your momentum to get perspective and tackle the bigger issues. It will be fine.

The Adult Friendship Quandary

So, picture this: You’re an adult, navigating the vast social landscape without the convenient excuse of uni or a school run to throw you into a situation full of potential pals. You’ve got your introverted tendencies, a calendar that looks like a Tetris game, and a desire to find friends who won’t judge you for binge-watching true crime and other bad TV on a Friday night. Sound familiar? Well, my friend, you’re not alone. Making friends as a grown-up can be tricky, as many of us know all too well.

1. The Trust Tango:

Remember when making friends was as easy as sharing your crayons? Ah, simpler times. Now, as adults, we’ve got trust issues. We’ve been burned, ghosted, and left unread. So, we tiptoe around, wondering if that new acquaintance could be our new friend or we’ve become that man at the bar that they’re politely trying to get away form.
And let’s not forget the “friendship audition.” It’s like a job interview, but with more emotional stakes. You’re mentally ticking off boxes: “Can they handle my obscure references? Do they laugh at my terrible puns? Will they judge my lazy hair style?” It’s a high-pressure situation, my friend.

2. The Time Warp:

Remember when time was abundant? Now it’s a rare commodity, like finding a unicorn in your backyard. Between work, commitments, life admin, and binge-watching that new sci-fi series, there’s barely a moment to spare. So, when you do meet someone interesting, it’s like spotting a shooting star during daylight hours—rare and magical.
“Hey, wanna grab coffee sometime?” you ask. But deep down, you know that “sometime” translates to “when the moon aligns with Jupiter, and Mercury is in retrograde.”

3. The Life Stage Shuffle:

At this age the people we meet are all at different life stages. There’s the new parent, the career-driven workaholic, and the eternal wanderer who lives out of a backpack. Meanwhile, you’re just trying to figure out if you should buy a houseplant or buy a motorcycle.
Finding someone who’s on the same page feels like discovering a hidden treasure chest. “Helloooo! You also enjoy Netflix marathons and existential pondering? Let’s be friends!”

4. The Introvert’s Dilemma:

As an introvert, socializing can be like running a marathon in quicksand. You’re torn between wanting meaningful connections and craving solitude like a cozy blanket. Initiating conversations feels like defusing a bomb: “Do I ask about their weekend plans or just compliment their shoes?”
But fear not! Introverts have superpowers too. We’re good at deep one on one conversaitons, and our idea of a wild night involves a good book and a cup of chamomile tea. Plus, we’ve mastered the art of the polite exit strategy: “Oh, look at the time! My imaginary cat needs feeding.”

5. The Friend Filter:

As we get a little older, our tastes refine in many ways. Our palette, our aesthetic appreciation, our wardrobes. And this is true of friends too. We’re no longer bouncing around clubs unable to hear how much we do or don’t have in common; we want something more now. Quality over quantity, right?
So, you swipe left on the energy vampires, the drama queens, and the ones who think pineapple belongs on pizza (blasphemy!). You’re searching for that rare gem—the person who laughs at your terrible puns and doesn’t judge your lazy coiffure. When you find them, it’s like winning the lottery.

In this grand adventure of adult friendship, remember that it’s okay to be choosy. Seek out the kindred spirits who appreciate your quirks, share your love for true crime, and won’t bail when your introversion causes your social battery to plummet. And hey, if all else fails, there’s always the dog. Dogs make excellent friends—they don’t judge, they snuggle a lot, and they’re basically joy and love manifest in tangible form.

So go forth, my fellow adventurer! We are out there!

Text Me When You Get Home – by Kayleen Schaefer

Quick wins – Meal Planning

Are you tired of always scrambling to figure out what to cook for dinner every night after a long day at work? Are you frustrated by the rising costs of food and constantly dealing with food waste? Look no further, because there is a simple solution to address all of these concerns – meal planning.

Designing a weekly meal plan can be a game-changer for your health, wallet, and time management. Planning your meals in advance allows you to make conscious decisions about your food choices, which can lead to healthier eating habits, better portion control, and reduced likelihood of grabbing unhealthy takeaway meals due to a lack of planning.

Meal planning means you can buy ingredients in bulk, when they’re on sale, and avoid wasting money on last-minute grocery store visits. Also, it can minimise food waste and save time on meal preparations. It helps reduce the chances of being tempted to order an unhealthy takeaway meal or snack after a long day.

On top of improving your health, meal planning can help organise your life, allowing you to dedicate time to other important aspects of your life. It can also be a fun and creative outlet to experiment with new recipes, ingredients, and flavours, and to get your family involved in meal preparation.

Designing a weekly meal plan has numerous financial and health benefits, as well as time efficiencies and organisational advantages. Incorporating a meal planning routine into your lifestyle is a simple yet effective step towards a healthier, happier, and more organised life.

Ethical Investing – Baby Steps

There is a real thill in taking new and small steps into the unknown.

Almost at my wits end trying to work out if I could establish how to make an ethical investment, I have finally taken the plunge. The concern was that this was entirely new territory, not just trying to seek out ethical investment but just the idea of investing outside my bank and ‘on the internet’.

In this climate when we can see the general destruction that people have on the planet and on each other it was uncomfortable to invest in standard index funds tracking the S&P 500 or the FTSE 100; where would this money be going and what would it be doing? Would it be going to companies who underpaid workers, played a role in deforestation, ignored our unhealthy reliance on fossil fuels? Inevitably, because the investment is in a lump and the fund doesn’t look at anything other than financial performance, the answer is most likely yes. Its like buying something in non-recyclable plastic, or not choosing the cardboard packaging option – I am so acutely aware that I am in a position where I am privileged enough a better choice.

So, my Vanguard ESG Developed World All Cap Equity was the best choice I could make with the information and experience I have at the moment. In my interests, with a view to building my money over time, and also in the interests of not harming others. I don’t need create difficulties for others in order for me to benefit. My ESG (Environmental, Social, Governance) fund, will not invest my money in companies involved in Controversies, Non-renewable energy, Vice products and Weapons. At the moment this focusses on ‘not doing bad’, as I learn I hope be able to shift towards ‘doing good’ by actively investing in companies that I believe create benefit for their people, the community and the environment.

Baby steps. Doing some things better than yesterday is better doing nothing because you can’t find ‘perfect’.

What is ESG investing: https://www.vanguardinvestor.co.uk/investing-explained/ESG-funds

Directionless Weekends

Friday night glass of wine with a blank sheet on paper on which the next two days intentions are written. Creating a ‘to do’ list with little boxes drawn next to each item so they can be satisfyingly ticked off as the day goes on. Each item on the list feeds into a grand end goal in one way or another. From the mundane ‘clean the bathroom’ (because I want to live in a clean and welcoming space) though to the more, for some reason, aspirational to open a Stocks and Shares ISA made up of ESG ethical stocks (because I understand its important to get a real hold on my financial independence while not adding to the world’s many problems).

Saturday might start off strong, early start (curtesy of the wine knocking me out early) kicking off with the domestic tasks but in these Covid times the weekends, for one reason or another, seem much more challenging and fraught with indecision and much earlier defeat than would have been the case a year ago.

Having cleaned the bathroom….in researching various ESG funds and ethical, yet undefined, ISA options the rabbit hole soon appears, with numerous organisations and platforms presenting themselves – suddenly there is fog. Perhaps, doing the thing the right way is just too hard for a novice. Perhaps the baptism of education has to start in the mainstream. There is wild frustration and some defeat as I wonder if 4pm is an acceptable time to have a glass of wine on a Saturday (in the absence of company as prescribed by Mr Covid).

In my Monday to Friday life I am driven, determined, clear and decisive. So my next step will be applying your 9-5 brain to the company of YOU. But before that, cheers *clink*

13/02/2021